The wedding day is approaching and with it the joy and sometimes the panic because it really starts now. The guests are all invited, the flowers and the menu have been ordered, and the dates in the registry office and church are already there; the anticipation of many couples grows with a view to their biggest, most beautiful day, the day of their wedding. But some also feel a little queasy: the well-planned, determined being that blows around the day of the wedding suddenly causes panic in many of those wishing to get married, lets him feel the infamous “cold feet.” And now? What helps with an acute fear of the altar? What helps with “cold feet,” with fear of the altar?
First of all, one should accept the fear. There is no point in forbidding yourself feelings and thoughts anyway. A little panic in front of the altar is a bit normal. Here are tips to deal with cold feet.
Create Distance to Your Own Thoughts
You should get help to better classify your fears. It is recommended to seek a conversation with a person who is completely outside of your own emotional system in order to find the distance you need to sort your doubts. If you do not have such a conversation partner available, you have to try to help yourself somehow and to master the difficult balancing act, to distance yourself from your own thoughts and feelings in order to be able to approach them objectively at all.
For example, sometimes exercise can help you a lot or visit a place that has nothing to do with the wedding. Go to a forest or a park and take some time for you. Observe what your feelings are. A method like this helps to clear your head a bit, clear your thoughts and feelings, a slight distance from to get the first panic attack, which you could then look at a little more objectively. Sometimes to ease yourself, you can also try beard vape as it will help you to overcome anxiety.
Don’t Break Yourself
We believe that that the fears need not be based on current reality. The more diffuse these fears feel the more certain one can almost be sure that they do not indicate the wrong choice of partner. Rather, it is often about old, childish fears that are now coming up and that it is better to discuss with a therapist in the long term before you make a mistake and take something away and break yourself by canceling the wedding.
If the relationship worked well for years, and if doubts about it actually arise only in connection with the wedding date, one can assume a temporary panic attack in terms of attachment anxiety. This can be appeased by working out so-called “protective measures” with the partner in view of the future.
The ‘I’ Shouldn’t Be Lost in the ‘We’
“The partners can decide, for example, that they always keep their own accounts. That they definitely have their own room in a shared apartment. They definitely have an evening during the week, which they each organize for themselves. That there is still a week of vacation per year without the partner. That they don’t let the marriage contract be drawn up by a couple’s family lawyer, but by a completely neutral lawyer who is objectively opposed to both sides. And that you don’t have to start with children right after the wedding, but that you can take your time.
“I” should not be lost in “we.” Thus, cold feet have a chance to warm up again.