Several months leading up to your big day will be filled with emotions, events, friends, and family, congratulations every step of the way, but also, a lot of stress. Some things can be put off, but one you should start preparing as soon as possible is your wedding vow.
In this article, we have reviewed some of the most common mistakes young brides make when writing (or not writing) their vows.
Not Talking to Your Partner
Before you settle on the length, mood, and tone of your vow, you should always discuss it with your partner. Because, if you don’t, you might end up in a situation where one person tells your entire love story, and the other one recites a traditional template. That’s not what you want.
Your vows should be well coordinated. Chances are, you are going to tell each other approximately the same thing but in different words. There’s nothing wrong about that; it would be much worse if your speeches were entirely different.
Talk to your partner, decide what you want together. Do you want to copy vows from your favorite movie, or do you want the speeches to be original and personal? Discuss all those details with your significant other to avoid any uncomfortable situations.
On average, wedding ceremonies take about half an hour. That is including the speech, the rings, and of course, the vows. Therefore, timing is of great importance in this matter. Deciding to “wing it once you get there” is a terrible idea that can potentially ruin the official part of your wedding.
Giving yourself time to think, on the other hand, is the best thing you can do for your future self. Talk it through with your partner a few months in advance. Discuss what you love the most about each other, recollect your best moments together, and that will inspire you and give some ideas for the vows.
Although there have been some successful unprepared wedding vows, that is extremely rare. And your wedding is not the best time and place to take risks. It’s better to have everything arranged before the time to have one less thing to worry about.
Forgetting the Time
Indeed, wedding ceremonies are usually strictly timed, and there will be couples after you who will also want to get married. So, if any urgent matters like the task at work or academic assignments are in your way, think twice.
Writing a dissertation while preparing for a wedding might not be the best thing to do. Leave that to professionals at Essay Pro website.
Wedding vows usually last approximately 2 minutes per each person, and you should not go overboard with those. Three hundred words or a bit more than a page of text should suffice. After all, you will have the rest of your lives together to declare your love for each other.
Not Putting Emotions into the Vows
This might sound too simple or obvious, but it’s actually very important. There have been plenty of weddings when the partners just recited their vows like a poem and ended up looking like a couple of robots.
There is nothing wrong with making a joke at the beginning to set the mood. Changing your speech as you go is also fine, more so, inevitable.
There is a high chance that in the process, you will get emotional and teary-eyed, but why not? Saying an unoriginal vow learned by heart with no emotion put into it would be much worse.
Remember to speak from the heart, and if steering off the written vow feels right, then do it.
However, there is also a downside to this. If you are the extra-emotional kind, you should rehearse your vow over and over until you are sure you can avoid getting too emotional and actually finish the speech. A few tears are fine, but sobbing so hard you can’t speak is not ideal.
Thinking You Can Do It All
As a bride, you will have a lot on your plate before the wedding. Writing a vow is one of those things that can have you restless at night.
If you think your writing is not perfect enough or that you are generally not a good writer, don’t be afraid to plagiarize. You are not at college.
This is not to say you should copy the entire thing from some random website. But it’s a good idea to research other people’s vows or examples online and collect bits and pieces here and there. You might just get inspired by others’ vows so much you will write your own.
One thing that you and your partner should definitely discuss and adhere to is the structure. Keeping it simple and sincere are the main rules, but there are some additional ones that we also recommend sticking to:
- Start with something easy like recollecting the day you met;
- Arrange a number of promises you will make for each other;
- Finish strong. You can talk about the bright future together or how much you love your significant other.
The safest bet would be to compose your vows together, but that would take out the element of surprise. It’s up to you to decide if you want to share every step of the way with your partner or keep your vows a secret till the important day.
Not Having an Editor
This is a brutal mistake a lot of people make when writing their own vows. Be the one to break the circle and have someone look through your speech.
It doesn’t have to be a paid service, but a fresh look by a friend can be of great benefit. Don’t be shy, have your bridesmaids read your vows. They may spot some things you missed when reading the vow over and over.
Whether you decide to write your own speeches for the big day or stick to the traditional ones, the choice is yours. Most importantly, have no fear, experiment, and don’t doubt yourself.
This is your wedding, and the sun in the sky shines just for the two of you. Follow our advice to make your ceremony the most special and memorable, and good luck!